Good gracious, we're in the big leagues now. With the production of our new Super Mega Promo spot, which can be found all over the Intra-Web as of right now, we are now feeling the pressure of delivering the BIGGEST Big Love Revolution yet on September 11th at the Derby.

Lord help us let the show live up to the crazy hype of this WWF-style Monday Night Fights promo commercial that Brettsky whupped up for the show:

Listen to the Madness on the Monday Night Promo, Here.

You can also hear this bizzness on YouTube and comment, rate, pass & share it. It's on the Myspace page too, beautiful people.

Hook it up. Spread the word. We're bringing the love cannon to the Derby. The world needs it, and we need you.

Much Love,
Genital Julius

An eyewitness reported seeing one Julio Crockett of the Evangenitals at Dr Music in Eagle Rock, California last weekend purchasing a fistfull of brightly colored Kazoos and an official Snoopy Mouth Organ.

She was in the company of one Rev. P-TryXXX Demention of the SouperKlawBrazzz who was observed purchasing a purple guitar strap and shaking a plastic banana.

At this time we are unclear on what Juli and the Evangenitals plan to do with all those Kazoos, though there is speculation that all will be revealed at the upcoming BIG LOVE REVOLUTION going down at the Derby on September 11th.

There are rumors of prizes, surprises, and new songs.

More news, coming soon.

Well, every once in a while I just like to take a beating for the hell of it... and that is why I entered the Evangenitals' showtune "The Sun is Shining" into the rotation for reviews at GarageBand.com. Yes folks, this is the same place in which one keen reviewer criticized The Work Song for being "repetitive".... god I love the music scene.

It will be interesting, to say the least, to see what kind of reception Sun is Shining will get over there.

In other news...

Join TEAM EVANGENITALS for the AIDS Walk Los Angeles on October 15th! We're forming a team, we're taking donations, we're raising funds and awareness for AIDS research! For us, it makes perfect sense that the Evangenitals should do all we can to protect the Genitals of the world and keep them happy, healthy, and holistically high-functioning!

Come walk with us!

Click here for more information, to sponsor, and to join the crusade!

Hello All.

This may seem like commandeering the Evangenitals' blog for strange other purposes, but if you live in Los Angeles and want to have your arty roots shaken like a fruit tree till the ripe sweetness falls off and deodarizes the globe, you'll thank me for telling you about this.

I am Juli Crockett. I am the lead singer of the Evangenitals. However, I am also a writer and director of experimental theater, and I have made an Opera.
http://redcat.org/season/0506/com/now3.php

My friend Jeremy Zuckerman, who also happens to compose for the awesome show Avatar: The Last Airbender on Nickelodeon, composed this piece with me.

Lisa Dee of the Evangenitals is featured in the piece, acting and singing. And Jeff Jones and myself play in the 10 piece musical ensemble which includes violins, a harp, contrabass, pedal steel, and a bulgarian folk singer, among other things. With all those Genitals in the mix, it pretty much merits as Evangenital news, I say!

The piece is called "Orpheus Crawling" and it is my child-like, half-crazed, totally-delightful, slightly-disturbing, philosophically-rooted riff on the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. It is an Opera. I guarantee you have never seen anything like it. I know this because Jeremy and I made it up. From start to finish.

It is playing at the REDCAT Theater in Los Angeles, closing out the NOW Fest (new original works) in that freaking metal Gehry building downtown. It runs from August 3rd-5th. Bring the kids. What doesn't kill them will make them stronger.

You can buy a ticket here: www.redcat.org

It is expected to sell out, so please really do go and buy a ticket.

For directions, more information about the show, ticket, pictures, etc. Go to the REDCAT site, here:
http://redcat.org/season/0506/com/now3.php

Thank you for supporting the arts in Lost Angeles.

Love,
Juli

it has occurred to me that it may be high time that we* actually begin to enter the discourse of talking about what's going on with the evangenitals. what does it mean, what is the mission, is this for us to say? will it jinx the magic if we look at it closely? i can't help but look at it. it is so beautiful.

*we meaning you and me. yes you.
please enter the discourse.
hurry.

I just realized I've been publishing my personal poo in the wrong blog! Hells bells.

Here's some Evangenitals news for you:

This just made my friggin' day....

Check out the Dancing Duo!

Thanks Banjo. You just earned yourself the eternal love of the Evangenitals. And a free T-Shirt to boot!

Rock on.

Hello Sunshine.

This is, without a doubt, the most action-packed Evangenitals weekend
yet.  So, I'll start with what I consider to be the most important
thing:

This Saturday.  April 29th.  9pm Sharp.  The Evangenitals are tearing
the roof off of Highland Grounds.  Guaranteed.

Yes, I know that's some tough talk, and I CHALLENGE ye to come and
throw down with what we got in store for you.

The Evangenitals are on fire with new songs and the eye of the tiger,
our new drummer George is playing his GIANT kick drum, and new-daddy
Dave "Salad" Salardino is back on the Banjo and Mandolin.

That's 6 of us versus 1 of you.  We're gonna hump your eardrums like
wild rabbits, buddy.

Best of all, it's just $5 w/ an EvanJunkie Card or Flier.  That is, I
assure you, the best damn deal in town!

Here's the tempting morsels:

Flier that gets you in for just $5:
http://www.evangenitals.com/images/hugecomicflier.jpg

New Traxx to whet yer whistle:
Sun is Shining
http://www.evangenitals.com/music-4.html
Ode to Scientology
http://www.evangenitals.com/music-5.html

All the details are at http://www.evangenitals.com/calendar.html

If you do nothing else this weekend, please do us at Highland Grounds.

9pm
Highland Grounds
742 North Highland Ave.
Hollywood, CA

90038
$7/$5 w/ EvanJunkie Card or Flier

So, you can stop reading there.  Or, if you're looking for more
action... we're here for you:

*At 1pm on Saturday April 29th at the 24th Street Theater you can see
ALL of the members of the Evangenitals participating in Juli's latest
dramatic magnum opus "Orpheus Crawling" composed by Jeremy Zuckerman and
featuring Shaughn Buchholz, Christine Berry, Lisa Dee, and Christopher
Goodson
http://www.24thstreet.org/explore3.html

*At 7pm on Sunday April 30th you can see Juli participate in a Dead
Poet's Slam and Evangina (the ladies of the Evangenitals) perform at the
Mt Hollywood Underground Speakeasy
http://www.evangina.com/calendar.html

We love you.
Warts and All.

Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, Salad, and George.
The Evangenitals
www.evangenitals.com

This is the shit.

Hey guys.

I can't make it to this show tonight, but it sounds absolutely awesome
so I thought I'd tip of the rest of y'all --

The man's name is Phillip Roebuck, and he's a ONE MAN BAND. Aww yeah!
And he's playing tonight at Pennylane Records in Pasadena FOR FREE.

I love it.

Represent, represent.

Here's a link to his Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/philliproebuck

Spread the love.

Support the man with a drum on his back.

xoxo
julio

For the love of all that's good in the world, please go read Brettsky's Blog for a damn fine summary of what's been going down with the Genitals this year.

http://brettsky.blogspot.com/

It's the real dope.

- Juli

Happy Holidays Everyone!

This Weekend, Saturday and Sunday 12/17 and 12/18 from 12pm to 7pm:
SANBORN COTTAGE INDUSTRIES is having an

<<-X-MAS SALE->>

Unique gifts and crafts at reasonable prices
Featuring Original LA Styles from
ORQUIDIA VIOLETA, Clothing and Scarves
CINNAMON ROLL GANG, mutant dolls and bags
SKRAMBLE, Silkscreen prints and clothes
ARACELI SILVA, fine jewelry
RHONDA, paintings and objets d'art
JUDY WINDRA, hula hoops and caps

HOLIDAY SHOPPING in a FESTIVE ATMOSPHERE!

**with live music by the EVANGENITALS (Sat) and TRIPLE CHICKEN FOOT
(Sun)**

come and get it!

Located at 852-856 Sanborn, Silverlake, Los Angeles

The Evangenitals will be playing at 1pm Sharp on Saturday the 17th. A
casual acoustic set, and we're taking requests. This looks like our
last show for 2005, so we encourage you to come on out and stock up on
enough Evangenitals goodness to last you through the New Year.

Go here for the flyer and more information: http://www.evangenitals.com/calendar.html

These are some pics of the EvanGenitals, having a blast, at the Double G Magazine Fundraiser.

Our hats are off to all and sundry who made it there, and there were a LOT of you, seeing as parking in that Echo Park neigh-bor-hood was a major crap-pants affair.

Check out these fine ladies over on Myspace, and please give them the ADD button tickle. Their's is a worthy cause, and we encourage you to support 'em.

Anyhoo... who ain't got love for the lesbians?

Who like LESBIANS????

Hi there.

Hope you had a happy, safe, and not too sugar-shocked Halloween!

To bring ourselves down from the fructose high, The Evangenitals are planning on doing it Low-like at the Lava Lounge on Thursday night.

This Thursday night. November 3rd. At Midnight. Jeff Jones will turn on the Space
Bass, Lisa and Juli will lay out the harmonies, Brett will bend some strings, and the Evangenitals will make slow, sweet, sonic love to all those present.

Since we've been getting rockin'er and rowdier at recent shows, we thought it'd be nice to revisit the slowness. So on Thursday come on down and have a seat, have a sigh, and let us massage your heart for a while.

The Lava Lounge is located at:
1533 North La Brea Ave
Los Angeles, CA, 90028

I know that music starts at 9pm. Shaped Like a Gun and LoFi Sugar are playing, among some other fine folks. The Evangenitals take it down at Midnight.

I know that many of you who read this blog live nowhere near Lost Angeles and cannot attend our local shows. Well, here's something to think about:

If you can't be here with us on our home turf, there are many other things you can do to be a part of the Genital movement. For example,

1. You could visit www.cdbaby.com/cd/evangenitals and check out previews of our
album. If you've heard the album, you can review it on the site, even without
purchasing it there!

2. You could download our tunes off iTunes, and then play them loudly at work.

3. You could be our friend on Myspace or Friendster or Tribe.

4. You could share photos with us at evangenitals.buzznet.com

5. You could tell a friend about the Evangenitals. Tell your mom. Tell your local radio station. Tell your aunt, the rich producer.

All of these things would help the Evangenitals get to your town a whole lot sooner, and then we could finally be together. Just you and us.

The long and short of it is that we love you, and thank you for supporting the
Evangenitals in whatever ways you do.

Sincerely,
Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, and Salad
The Evangenitals

(hey now, here's a shout out to the godless comment-spammers, you bastards! see the light and stop the madness! no one follows your devil-links! desist! i always delete you! get the hint, donkey bums!)

Holy Crap... The Evangenitals are going to be on Television!

You heard me right. On Television!

QTV, to be exact. At 9am, this Friday, October 28th. The show is called "Brunch" and we're the musical guests.

I'm not sure exactly how the cookie will crumble, as this has been a fly by the seat of our pants kind of affair, however, I do know that we will be in Halloween attire, playing two full length tunes during the hour and 1/2 program, groove-riding in an out of the commercial breaks (slipping in the leads to some of our dirtier numbers that were not approved for televised performance) and there are rumors of Jeff Jones bustin' out the thong once again, if the FCC will allow it.

Evangenital Brettsky, unfortunately, has to be in school that morning... so it's up to Juli, Lisa, Jones, and Salad to represent the magic of the Evangenitals for this, our first televised appearance. We shall do it, Brett! We shall transmit the joy!

Now, if you've got a request for a song or a shout out, you better send it our way pronto! No four letter words, but "suggestive" is alright, I'm told.

And guess what... it's a LIVE show, so you can even call in while we're there! You can call the show from 9am-10:30am Pacific time / 12pm-1:30pm Eastern. The phone number for the call-ins is 818-848-5008.

Information on how to watch us on Friday can be found here: *Subscription Information*

In other news, we're gearing down for the Lava Lounge show at Midnight on Thursday, November 3rd. Lately our shows have been getting mighty rockin' and rowdy, and we're gonna take it down about 11 notches for one night to revisit some of our mellow golden space bass harmonious low-ness. It's gonna be a late night lounge love fest, to be sure.

Tune in on Friday! Barrage the network with loving emails! See your darling Genitals on Television! Get happy!

Much love,
Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, and Salad.
The Evangenitals

Hi. How are you? Is the weather getting you down? Are you feeling okay? Do you need a little cheer-me-up? Are you ready for the hoe-down arse-kicking insanity that is sure to go down at the Old Towne Pub gig this Friday night?

On October 21st The Evangenitals will be playing our first show at Ye Olde Towne Pub, hidden behind the very new shiny Container Store in Old Town Pasadena, California, USA.

We are hitting the stage at 10pm with Don Short filling in on drums and mouth organ, Dave "Salad" Salardino moving up to the front lines on Banjo and Electric Mandolin, and Jeff Jones fresh out of his cast on the Bass Guitar. Juli's playing Brett's Guitar, Brett's playing Electric, Lisa's playing with a pic... all hell is breakin' loose. It's gonna be a bar-appropriate drinking song love fest. A special night to be sure.

The exact address is:

Old Towne Pub
66 N Fair Oaks Ave
Pasadena, CA 91103

The Line-Up is:
Service Group 9:15
The Evangenitals 10:15
The New Fidelity 11:15
Criminal Belly 12:15

All the bands are fantastic. None be missed. This is going to be a great show. Believe it. And it's all for $5. Dope.

In other news, Happy Halloween.

In more other news, there rumors of an upcoming Evangina album (previews available at www.myspace.com/weareevangina) and Brett been working hard rehearsing his own stuff with his "other" band. *gasp* *shock* *awe*

If you aren't local to the Los Angeles area, you can help us out by downloading the Evangenitals on iTunes, buying our album on CDBaby.com and TowerRecords.com, and reviewing our album on either of those sites.

You could also collect local club information for us and help us book a gig in your town... then you'd get to feel the magic of the Genital Evangelizing Music in your very own city!

We love you, always and already.
No kidding.
We thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, and Salad
The Evangenitals

Christ on a Christmas crutch! The promulgation of blogs in the cyberverse is making it damn hard to keep anything updated...

The sheer sureness of failure weighs down upon me like the world upon the shoulders of atlas. Dear lord, how to be in all places at all times, in the moment, up to date? Dear lord, teach me thy omnipresent ways.

The evangenitals are in the midst of entering their first songwriting competition. This is indeed the harbinger of more things to come. We're trying to get into the Emergenza festival, not necessarily with any intention of winning, but for the free guitar & bass strings, drum sticks, t-shirts, and a 1st round gig in San Francisco. We're easy like that.

Julio's brother, Jaisen Crockett, photographer extra-ordinare is going to be shooting the cover for an upcoming U2 album next week. Sometime pre-Thanksgiving he's going to be coming to Los Angeles and shooting The Evangenitals. Bono's up for the Nobel Peace Prize, and with a single visit from Jaisen the six degrees of separation betwixt the Evangenitals and the Nobel Peace Prize will be that much smaller!

Stay tuned for the shiny new world.

And in the meantimes...

Check out the Evangenitals Photo Love Share Project on Buzznet. This is where we dump all of our favorite images, and you can join in on the fun by contributing your own Evangenital memorabilia. Get down on it.
Hell yeah.

For all you Los Angeles area folks:

It's been a long time since the Evangenitals have thrown it down at Mr T's Bowl in Highland Park.

On Friday September 2nd, our absence shall be rectified, souls shall be honored, new songs will fly through the air, and hearts will soar.

The line-up is absolutely top notch, and the Genitals are kicking the night off at 10pm SHARP!

(Be there at 9:30 for jokes, tuning, and a good seat on the rug!)

*Monte Carlo 76 -- nominated best Latin rock band by LA weekly -- will take over at 10:45
*retrodeamon -- a Santa Barbara all-star band -- grabs the torch at 11:30
*Ninja Academy -- celebrating their record release -- gives you your cake and eats it too at 12:15 and *8-bit -- robot rappers extraordinaire -- will make you shake your tired ass at 1am.

Oh yeah, and this show is free.
You hear that? F-R-E-E

And don't forget: Mr T's has happy hour drink prices all night long!
Can I get a HELL yeah?

We hope to see you there.

Mr T's Bowl
5621 1/2 Figueroa
Los Angeles, California, USA

Much love,
Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, and Salad
The Evangenitals

Anybody who is on Myspace... here's a project for ya!

If you're feeling feisty and even minutely motivated today... how about voting for the Evangenitals to go to Coachella next year? How about passing this on and telling your friends to tell their friends to pass it on a make a difference in the world:

here is the link, it is long and obnoxious so i embedded it under this text

Yes, we know, we'll never win, however, the effort will surely bring greater and broader name recognition, an increase in genital awareness (which is a good thing) and that glorious feeling of fighting for the underdog.

And did we mention the Evangenital Juli is an ordained minister with the god-given power to absolve sin? Hell yeah! And she'd be more than happy to do it for you if you'd help the Genitals get the good word out in the streets, so that we may follow that word, and bring the message to the people at large. To the large people. So dig it.

If you're NOT on Myspace yet, stop fighting and give up. They're taking over.
You can find us there at: www.myspace.com/evangenitals
Evangina is on there too: www.myspace.com/weareevangina
and the animated true tales of the Evangenitals band, EvangeniTales, is on there too: www.myspace.com/evangenitales
And Juli and Lisa and Brett and Brett's music are all on there too...
but not Jeff Jones. Jeff Jones don't own no dang computator. You gotta be kidding.

So, please help. We'd really like to start touring soon. Make enough money to buy a van and do it the Willie Nelson way. Dear people, you could help that happen if you'd just tell a few friends about the Evangenitals. Pay it forward, pass it on, post a link, pebble in a pond, you know the drill.

We love you, even if you don't.
We thank you, even if you won't.

Juli, Lisa, Brett, and Jones
The Evangenitals

PLEASE PASS AROUND AND REPOST!!!

This info comes from one of the music groups I belong to. Even if you're not from Los Angeles originally, add your voice to the cause...or see Los Feliz become the 3rd street promenade! yuck...EASTSIDE RESISTANCE!!!...thanks!

Friends, fellow Los Felizians, members of the media & other cool folks:

I am reaching out to inform you of a horrifying scheme now moving forward to demolish the world-famous Derby nightclub and adjacent Louise's restaurant and replace them with a generic five-story condo / retail development in the heart of wonderful little Los Feliz! With zero publicity and notice to neighborhood residents thus far, Woodland Hills-based Alder Realty Investments Inc. has purchased the property and is quietly navigating the zoning approval process necessary to carry out their dastardly plans.

I doubt I'll have to sell many people on the coolness and historical importance of the Derby in the Hollywood community. Built as the Willard's Chicken Inn restaurant circa 1928 -- with the backing of none other than longtime Los Feliz resident Cecil B. DeMille -- it eventually became one of the five legendary Brown Derbys where Tinseltown's elite gathered between 1940 and 1960. Joan Crawford famously tended bar there in 1945's "Mildred Pierce." And of course Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau memorably entered via the kitchen in 1996's "Swingers" -- helping to trigger a nationwide swing craze with the Derby as its indisputable epicenter. Whether you're into swing dancing or, like me, have enjoyed seeing local music acts play under its distinctive wooden dome in recent years, the Derby's place in the thriving local arts / nightlife community is unassailable. It's the Derby, for cryin' out loud!

This is the unique historical venue the developers feel they must destroy and replace with condos and chain retail space that could be found on any corner in any city in America. And with the Derby would die one more place in the world with a special character and energy all its own. Another piece of L.A. history gone forever. And that could be the beginning of the end for the Los Feliz we know and love, which is already fighting to hang onto its special vibe in the face of encroaching Starbucksization.

The good news: Resistance to the Development From Hell is already forming! Last night, I attended a meeting of the Greater Griffith Park Neighborhood Council Planning/Zoning and Historic Preservation Committee -- an advisory board to the city of L.A. -- and I was encouraged to learn that a group of concerned local residents and Derby fans has begun organizing the Save the Derby Coalition to focus local opposition to this horrible idea. But they're going to need a lot of help to win this David-V.-Goliath battle.

As I understand the situation after the meeting last night, this thing is a freight train moving on well-lubricated rails toward a destination that will turn a fat buck for people who really, really love money. The only thing that will stop it is a loud outcry from the community -- loud enough to get the city council's attention and make them think twice about the cost-benefit ratio. They need to know a lot of people will be fighting mad about this or it's goodbye, Derby.

With that in mind, I urge anyone still reading this e-mail to:

E-MAIL L.A. CITY COUNCILMAN TOM LaBONGE (who represents the Los Feliz area) at: Labonge@council.lacity.org
As I understand it, LaBonge and the council are the crucial pressure point for this deal. While various committees will be weighing in over a long process, the development will ultimately require city approval to go through. If LaBonge and others on the council see the outcry against it as dangerous enough to themselves, the Derby just might be saved. So outcry today and outcry often! (LaBonge's website: http://www.lacity.org/council/cd4/)

Members of the media: You know what to do.

The Save the Derby Coalition website and e-mail list should be operational soon.

The Derby's webpage on their history:
http://www.the-derby.com/history.html?20,15

Alder Realty's webpage on their plans for the Derby property:
http://www.adler-realty.com/ARI/Investments/Los%20Feliz.htm