Updates and Reminders:

We have our own comic! Drawn by the keen hand and slim fingers of our own Brett Lyda, The EvangeniTales is updated weekly, with new adventures and revealing tidbits about those sweet spiritual bastards, The Evangenitals. See it here: EvangeniTALES!

We're still on the charts at Audio Street, with our slow, sultry cover of HeyYa coming in at #1 in Alternative Cover Songs. (sometimes #2)... um... it depends what time of the day you log in, methinks.

Joining us over there at Audio Street is our feminine half, Evangina, who've got their own little blog and muzak page now (due to their wild success and new fan-base in Long Beach)... They're also on MySpace! (add! add! add!)

And of course, tonight at the Derby we will be celebrating our One Year Anniversary with an ALL-EVANGENITALS set. Joining us are friends Hello Fever, Pink Mochi, Poolabomb, and Shaped Like a Gun. It's good to have friends.

Oh yeah... one more thing:

Juli is going to be in the next edition of Sports Illustrated. No kidding. It hits the newsrack on Friday (the 28th). It's kind of a long story. You can read all about it here.

That's the news.

We love you.

The Genital Gang

THIS IS A SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT:

On January 21st 2005, The Evangenitals will celebrate their 1st Anniversary in a Grand Hootenanny at the world famous Derby in Los Feliz.

Local favorites Pink Mochi, Hello Fever, and our good friends Shaped Like a Gun and Poolabomb will be joining the Genitals on this joyful night.

The show is gonna start at 8:30pm. The cost is $7.

The experience of sharing this glorious moment in history with your dear darling darlings the Evangenitals?

Priceless.

It's a Friday night, so please come on down early and stay late.

The Genitals will have home-grown Unicron T-Shirts and CD's available.

We will all be filled with good cheer and hella gratitude for such an amazing year of musical love-making and sweet sweet nylon stroking.

All this is going down at the Derby.

Please join us on this special night.

The Derby
4500 Los Feliz Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027
323-663-8979

Greetings Everyone.

The Evangenitals would like to wish you all some very
happy holly jollies this holiday season.

To show and share our boundless joy, we will be
playing a free show at the Equator Coffee Shop in Old
Town Pasadena this Wednesday, December 29th, at 9pm
Sharp.

We will be playing for approximately an hour and
possibly and hour and a half. We will play requests.
We will be bringing the Salad to accompany on drums.
There will be Unicron T-Shirts and CD's available.
Julio's Mom will be there.

We will play our hearts out in a glorious celebration
of the year 2004 (the year which marked the birth of
the Evangenitals, among other things of varying
importance) and extend welcoming salutations to the
year 2005 which promises non-stop giggles, rainbows,
cookies and sky-skittles* to all who attend.
(*individual results may vary)

The simple version:

The Evangenitals are playing a RARE all-ages show for
FREE on Wednesday, December 29th at 9pm. Please come.

Location:

The Equator Coffee Shop
22 Mills Place
Pasadena, CA 91105
(626) 564-8656

Hope to see you there.

Sweet Sweet Holiday Love Sauce,
Juli Crockett, Lisa Dee, Brett Lyda, Jeff Jones
www.evangenitals.com

Yeah.. so...

We're spreading ourselves thin this month. We know.

It's a sort of experiment in exhaustion, karma, and giving back. "Just say Yes" is the Genital's theme for December. Does this result in lower "draws" to shows... hell yeah. Who cares? We're going to be the most seasoned and practiced One Year Old band come the New Year that Highland Park has ever SEEN! (huzzah for small victories)

We're playing all sorts of sweet gigs this holiday season: our local coffee shop, solo & duet sets from various members, a big, free all ages show in the heart of Old Town Pasadena, a Christmas Eve Party, complete with Classic Christmas Covers. It's a good life, and the perfect way for us to end the year. Hootin' up a Storm! Howling at the Elements! Raising hell and making sweet, sweet love with our windpipes and strings. We're diggin' it.

We're still working hard on the "official" album release. We're just too excited to hold back, so we've got an advance release circulating... however, we got more songs on the grill, that just ain't quite been mixed and seasoned yet. Soon. Very soon. Expect to see a fine and fancy Evan-barcode, Evan-label, and actual credits for all the folks that made it possible (like Jeff Donovan.... who's playing jazz, this weekend. click for details)

So yeah... we're spreading ourselves thin. Fuck it. We're young. We're coming up on our 1 year anniversary. We're feeling frisky and blessed and running wild. Till the wheels fall off, ya'll. You know the drill.

xoxo
julio

there's so much going on it gets hard to report on it all.

we've got some field trips coming up...

we're spreading our wings and taking off to some new territory.

this wednesday, goin' on out to the west side to play Tempest - Hollywood with Walkie Talkie and friends.

next wednesday, goin' on down to the LBC to show our stuff at the tenbyten art show at Koos.

for details, addresses, info, etc... check the calendar page.

we love you.

us.

Feeling Down? Feeling Blue?
Hopeless? Helpless? Depressed?
Feeling Feisty? Feeling Free?
Feel like Coming and Screaming with Glee?

We're having a Love-In & We Need Your help!

This Thursday
November 11th 2004
at 10pm Sharp
Be a Part of

The Evangenitals' Special
Love, Healing, and Primal Screaming Workshop
at
The Derby
4500 Los Feliz Blvd
at the corner of Hillhurst & Los Feliz Blvd

Come join us in a demonstration of music, grace, and good humor as we attempt to transform the world-famous Derby into the spiritualized sing-along center of Los Angeles for one glorious hour.

Super-Special Offerings of the Evening Include:

*Words of Hope & Healing from Her Most Holy Miss Mindy Chiu
*Primal Scream Therapy Group Exercises
(with bless'd, healing T-shirts to be given as gifts to the most zealous)
*home-made Evan-Unicron iron-on t-shirts
*BYOMC - bring your own magic carpet*
(*see Juli's personal appeal below)

and at last.... at last...

*the limited-edition first-press new-born Evangenitals Album!

*and now, a message from Rev. Dr. Juli Crockett,
singer and 1/2 size guitar player for The Evangenitals:

My Friends,
I have a vision. I have a dream. I have a suggestion.
It would please me beyond all comprehension and understanding if you would start bringing your own blankets, towels, mats, rugs, lawn chairs, meditation cushions, yoga balls, and any other lo-rider comfort seating device (aka magic carpet) to the next Evangenitals show. It's more than a show. It's a moment. A happening. A meeting of like-hearted homeboys & girls in search of the good vibe. Bring it with you. Find it here. Come on down to the front. Camp out, join in, sing along. Bask in the glow of the campfire-esque stage lights. Get closer to the Genitals.
We love you.

Live It. Be It.
Come n' Get It.

juli crockett, lisa dee, brett lyda, jeff jones
the evangenitals


more info: www.evangenitals.com/calendar.html
or call: 323-251-9645

Well... it was nice at the top for a minute.

Gasoline has slipped from #1 to #3 over at Audio Street (and I still can't figure out how their rankings are determined) which puts us at, surprisingly enough, my favorite place... #3 World Wide!

Never Again is up to 4 stars at GarageBand.com, which is pretty good, considering that we're currently filed under "Alternative", which is kinda true, but I think some of the folks who choose to review "Alternative" songs and then get "Evangenitals" are gettin' a little shook up by the experience.

Facing reviews is a strange new experience for us. Edifying, informative and painful... like a hairshirt on a sweaty, scourged martyr.
Thank you sir, may I have another.

On November 5th, we'll be moving to a newly created category on GarageBand called "Americana" which I think will suit us like a new pair of pants. A little snug, little scratchy, but exciting and snappy none the less.

In other news....

Tonight is the Halloween Party we're "hosting" over at the Derby. What does "hosting" mean? It means that Julio's workin' the door, Brett's dressing up and giving out weird prizes (compliments of our communal workplace) and we're gonna try to convince Jeff Jones to MC, or something like that.

Lisa Dee's other two bands, Las Panchas and Killsonic, are playing, along with the indubitable Robbie D and Timbaloo. It should be a nice, wild, make-up and mayhem kinda night.

Dress up and you might win an electric penis leash.
I ain't even kidding.

9pm. $5

at The Derby
4500 Los Feliz Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Here's the dill...

The Evangenitals are doing great and going strong, and we're trying to keep this ball rolling. We're thinking that lightning speed would be a suitable pace. Think meteors. Comets. Faster than a speeding bullet.

What's the big deal, you ask? Well, we've got some super-duper studio recorded versions of classic songs up on the web for your listening pleasure. They ain't technically "done" yet, however I've uploaded them in a couple of spots for some advance playing and reviewing.

Here's where YOU come in.... we're asking ya'll to follow these links. Listen to the songs. Enjoy 'em. Play them loud and proud. Rate 'em if you can. Send the links to your friends and ask them to give 'em a listen. Dance a bit. Laugh. Cry. Bathe in the soft haze of nostalgia and melancholy. Support your Genitals. Every little bit helps. It takes a village to raise a phenomenon.

The filthy hillbilly mucky love classic Gasoline can be found at
AudioStreet.net:
http://www.audiostreet.net/artists/006/962/evangenitals.html

(We're actually still #1 on AudioStreet's Alternative Country Charts right now, and you listening to our song over and over again will help to keep us there!)

The doo-wop 50's ode to dysfunctional relationships Never Again is over at GarageBand.com:
http://www.garageband.com/artist/evangenitals

Thank you for your love and support.

- juli crockett, lisa dee, brett lyda, & jeff jones
the evangenitals

HOLY S#!T... WE'RE NUMBER ONE!

Thanks folks for clicking the clicky.

We're currently number one at AudioStreet.net!

http://www.audiostreet.net/charts.aspx?genreid=3

Keep up the good work! Fight the Good Fight! Spread the Genital Love!

The Evangenitals. Topping the Charts Overnight!

We're on the Charts!?!?!?

I don't really know how it happened... but we are! On some little download site called AudioStreet.net --- check it out:

http://www.audiostreet.net/charts.aspx?genreid=3

I don't know who's determining the rankings... but if you have a chance, go there and download the song. Give it a listen. Trust me, you wanna hear it. It's the special studio recorded version of Gasoline. Jeff Donovan on drums. Pure hillbilly goodness and filth. Mad hootin' and hollerin'. A good time to be had by all.

Hear. Feel. Help.
- julio

That's right folks!

Today is the Day and Tonight is the Night!

Our left-handed genital Mister Brett Lyda, aka Mr Fantastic, aka New SUV Owner Extra-Ordinare, aka Grampa-Love-Shake-Pull-The-Other-Leg-Charlie is having a BIRTHDAY!

TODAY!

TONIGHT!

AND IT'S ALLLLLLLLL RIGHT!

I sure hope you bring him something special tonight... like your sweet face, pats on the back, warm hugs, hot kisses, and best wishes. That'll do.

He'll be at The Derby. Lettin' it all hang out.

Everybody now.........

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTER GENITALS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOU!

Keep smokin', Brett.

We love you somethin' terrible.

Alright folks...
The Time Hath Come!

The Evangenitals are playing on a FRIDAY NIGHT!

THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!
October 15th - 11 o'clock sharp

@ the World Famous Derby
4500 Los Feliz Blvd
Los Angeles, California, USA


And we're taking requests!
Send us your favorite songs and dedications...
Let us know what you wanna hear...
we'll put 'em all together and serve 'em up just right!

evangenitals@yahoo.com

We're thinking of this as a "Greatest Hits" show... celebrating the songs that got us in the pickle of playing the Derby at 11pm on a Friday night... so come bask in the warm glow of Genital love whilst we revisit the showtunes of yesteryear.

The Full Run of the Evening:
Cathy Rivers, 8pm
Sandy Chila, 9pm
Chromosome Tea, 10pm
Evangenitals, 11pm
Morcea, 12am

All for $8*

*Please be sure to tell 'em at the door that you're there to see the Evangenitals. Say it with pride and a fist to the sky.

We're bringing the Rug. We're bringing the Love.
We're bringing the Salad.*

Come Hither! Come Hear!

juli crockett, lisa dee, brett lyda, jeff jones
the evangenitals

(we love you already)

*dave salardino.drums.

zine ready posse

photo by: evangenitals

cut/paste - put on spin

live music

photo by: livemusic

Evangenitals on Phone Cam...photo by Steve Diet Goedde

we're playing the Derby tonight.

we're excited.

we hope that everybody and their mother's brother comes out to the show.

there are rumors spreading that the Evangenitals, Fascinoma, Hidden triple-play is the best local lineup in Los Angeles.

we didn't even start that rumor.

if you want to verify the validity of this statement, please come down to the Derby tonight at 9pm and see for yourself.

4500 Los Feliz Blvd.
Corner of Los Feliz & Hillhurst
Los Angeles, CA, USA

9pm
$7

good for the soul.

holy monkey balls!!!!!

we're playing for larry fishburne!!!!

We've been invited to play at Operation Artistic Freedom! A John Kerry Fundraising production. And we're happy to do it!

Alice and Alana Lin of Fascinoma (the band formerly known as Linister) is coming with us, and we're gonna lay down a relatively PG-13 set for the uppity-ups and who-dee-who's.

Among the event's Hosts are actors Laurence Fishburne ("The Matrix") and Gina Torres (24), writers/directors Joss Whedon (TV's "Buffy") and Burr Steers ("Igby Goes Down") and elected officials State Senator Jack Scott, Assemblymember Jackie Goldberg and Councilmembers Eric Garcetti, Ed Reyes and Antonio Villaraigosa.

We're excited. No doubt.

In other news, things have been crazy round here.... recorded the demo with Blaire Lamb this weekend, played El Cid under the full moon on Monday night, and now the John Kerry Fundraiser. We're gearing up and getting ready for a bad-ass throw-down on September 29th at The Derby. Things are getting good around here. We got our own t-shirts now. It's crazy. It's fun. It's making us all feel blessed and bountiful.

We're writing all kinds of happy dirty lovin' songs. Getting ready to throw down album #1 and already writing songs for album #2. We wanna buy a van and hit the road and make love to the whole wide world. We wanna shake hands and kiss babies. We wanna make people feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel shit. Like squirrels and blue skies and heart pangs and silk panty-hoes. Bring it on.

---

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

EVANGENITALS CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

---

what a weekend.... naked ladies and screaming and screening films at the art show. fuzzard, lectric, eagle and talon and us back at home at mr t's bowls on a saturday night. we played an all-request evening and the love was thick in the air. steve finally got to hear our ween cover. mayson got his dose of "fuck 'em all". arlo got his drunk that way. charity turned up with a right posse of good people. i think everybody came out of it happy. i know we did.

thanks to everyone who turned out and payed the surprise $3 cover. we thought the show was free. apologies for any inconvenience.

crazy shizz going down at Evangenitals headquarters.... we're about to hit the studio for a demo, there's gonna be t-shirts at the El Cid show, drummer Jeff Donovan will be joining us again, and there's talk of an exclusive old-school membership card to the Genitals Gang coming off the presses soon!

if you haven't checked out our Yahoo Group... julio's been uploading pictures in the Gallery section like mad. all sorts of weirdo stuff for your viewing pleasure. check it out.

we're building a crazy maze within the site, sending links to friends and extended family of the evangenitals. spreading the love. sowing the seeds. spreading the good goo. playing with our genitals. you know the drill. there's new photos and videos and all sorts of fun getting buried in the site. it's like we're reaching out and touching you with a cyber scavenger hunt. you never know what you're gonna find!

by the by... if you ever have any requests or suggestions, don't hesitate to let us know: evangenitals@yahoo.com

So here's the deal...

After Julio's lastest Road Warrior episode... she's determined that she's unwilling to ever leave the Land of Lost Angeles again...

At least not for a while. So that means, her play will have to go on without her. No Maine trip for the Evangenitals. No money. Julio's homesick. You know the drill.

It's alright though, we've got plenty to do on this side of the Americas: Hangar 1018, coming up next! Friday the 13th show... Art Event:13... spooky goodness.... new songs...

Followed up by a visit to the homestead @ Mr T's Bowl, Highland Park. Then comes the sh!tstorm. No kidding... El Cid, Birthday Parties, Politics, The Derby, Tangiers... we're excited as hell and Julio can't stop writing new songs... hell... Brett's writing new songs too... everybody's feeling the magic... it's a love-fest creative boon-farm, my friends.

info on the next show is here...

Alright ya'll... get ready for something dark and stormy.

We're in the song-writing stages, paving the way for our moody, oceanic score of [or, the whale]... julio crockett's poetic-epic-lovestory re-telling of Herman Melville's Moby-Dick, set to go down on the East and West Coast in August 2004.

The West Coast test drive is set to premier at the Hangar 1018 on Friday the 13th, August 2004. There will be music, film, theater, and a bunch of other wackery that night. The Hangar is well-known for its events, and we're pleased to be putting in an appearance there. Lisa Dee has graced their space on more than one occassion already (singing with Killsonic and If) and it's about time the Evangenitals paid the place a visit, en masse.

Immediately following the Hangar experience -- as in, the very next night -- we're playing with Fuzzard and Eagle & Talon at Mr T's Bowl in Highland Park. It's kinda sorta a bit of a farewell party, since we're taking off to Maine the very next day after that for the East Coast Real Deal Big Show Premier of the Full Blown Theatrical Extravaganza:

[or, the whale]

We're performing it in a flippin' CASTLE lookin' CHURCH building, and we're pretty dang excited about it!