Attention Awesome Bands!

Greetings friends of the Evangenitals,

We need your help!

This summer we are releasing our 2nd album and we are hitting the road to celebrate. Where should we go?

We are currently reaching out to all our musical friends and extended band families in various and sundry locations world wide for some guidance/advice as to what's hot and what's not out there in the US of A and beyond!

Are you digging your local scene? Is there an awesome place in your town that you could see the Evangenitals rocking? Could you slide us on a card in your city?

Please send you ideas, suggestions, recommendations, and advice our way!

Much Love,
Juli C, Lisa Dee, Brettsky, Georgie, Geoff and Jason
The Evangenitals

For Reference:
Our Website: www.evangenitals.com
Our EPK: www.sonicbids.com/evangenitals

Let's hear it for the GIRLS!!!

Evangina, also know as the Ladies of the Evangenitals, have received two honors this week over on GarageBand.com where the Evangina track "Time To Go" has been hanging tough in Round 2 of the showcase showdown.

For the week of March 19th, Time To Go was voted "Best Lyrics" and "Best Melody" in the Acoustic genre! Woo hoo!

If you pay a visit to the Evangina page at GarageBand.com you can hear this track and support the ladies. You can also look forward to hearing Time To Go on the much-anticipated 2nd album of the Evangenitals coming out this summer, where it will be a sweet Evangina oasis in the midst of the surging seas of Evangenital Joy!

In other news... major props should go out to the ladies for dressing up and putting on the ritz at the Bordello show last Wednesday night.

For all of you who missed it.... thank heavens for YouTube!!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=E9xN4sLBplk

xoxo

Last night at the Bordello show our resident videographer, flier artist, and comic illustrator Patrick Ian Moore (aka PtryXXX) laid before the eyes of the world the newest incarnation of the Evangenitals band T-Shirt featuring the Evangenitals in.... The EvangeniTales!



And just when we thought things couldn't get any cooler, he whipped out a one-sheet teaser comic from the EvangeniTales called "Space Bass: The Rise of Jeff Jones" featuring our beloved old soon-to-be-hitched ping pong master himself, Jeff Jones.



Passersby did note that the Rise of Jeff Jones teaser did bear an uncanny resemblance to some Silver Surfer posters that have been popping up all over town.

Ptryxxx declined to comment on the connection, and instead laugh manically and ordered another Tonic Water with a dash of Lime Zest from the delightfully bosomed bartendress.

It's Been Confirmed! Juli is going to wear a dress and fake eyelashes tonight! Don't miss this once in a lifetime experience to see Julio dressed like a lady! :-)

Hosted By: Evangenitals
When: Wednesday Mar 14, 2007
at 10:00 PM
Where: The Bordello
901 E First Street
Los Angeles, CA 90012
United States
Description:
Evangenitals @ The Bordello TONIGHT at 10pm

Click Here To View Event

This summer the Evangenitals will be releasing their much-anticipated second album and going on tour to promote it.

Where would you like us to go? San Francisco? Austin? New York? Portland? Tokyo???

Well then, !!!!

Wherever you want us to go, we're all ears. Have tunes, will travel. Simply go here and let us know where to point the van: eventful.com/evangenitals

Be the change you want to see in your local venues. Evangenitalize them!

We Love You Already!

Holy Moly! Tony Gower is BACK!

Just look at this friggin' swank-ass club we are playing at on Wednesday March 14th!!

This is The Bordello, and it is owned by Tony Gower, former owner of the Derby in Los Feliz. In other words, this is the *new* supreme swank locale in Los Angeles, and were going to christen the stage with Evangenital sweat on Wednesday March 14th at 10pm!


(click for more pics)

The Bordello is lush, sexy, beautiful... a must-see joint. It's also about to become our new home base in LA... so let's have ourselves a housewarming/welcome home Tony party!

The Evangenitals will be playing with the Sundowners and Vermouth, who both sound like swank ass bands, so check 'em out and come on down.

That's a lot of funk for $5.

Click here to RSVP for the show on Myspace!

Come and look pretty for the video cameras. This one is sure to be YouTube GOLD!

*BREAKING NEWS* Evangenital lead singer Miss Julio Crockett was spotted exiting Aardvarks in Hollywood last weekend with a floor length red gown. Witnesses at the scene reported that allegedly she was overheard saying to her "tall male companion" that the dress was for "some show" she is playing in March at "some swank ass joint". More reports coming soon.

Brettsky Reviews The Evangenitals @ Old Towne Pub 2/23/07

Just for the record, I am an Evangenital and always will be.

And so... let me say how weirdly enjoyable it was being in the audience as a civilian Genital. I had wondered for days what would it be like if I could get off work early and catch the show. As it turned out, I managed to catch the full performance and I really enjoyed myself. The running gag in the band, I've been told, is that I'm now referred to as "coach" during rehearsal and that the goal was to make coach proud. Funny thing is, that's not the first time I've been called that (here's hoping it's a term of endearment this time).

The full band (minus me) appeared onstage with part-timers Dave Salardino (mandolin) and Jason Chesney on guitar. Everyone was standing, including Juli and Lisa (w/ guitars) and I must say they all looked great. Juli started up with some jokes and banter about me gettin' fired and opened with the Ween cover "Cold Blows The Wind" followed by "Lisa's Song" and "Never Again". Three interesting choices. My first thought was it seemed overly ambitious given the limits of rehearsal time available to the band pre-show (especially Ween) but I also knew The Girls were eager to revisit a few old chestnuts we hadn't championed in a long awhile. Ultimately, I gave in to the performances, thanks mostly to the fine vocal performances. Next up was, I think, "Quee Queg". This full band version definitely had legs and it was good to hear after all these months (drums!). "Hello" featured some nice guitarwork from Chesney. I missed my own presence most on "Drunk That Way" but when the set segued into "Irene" the band unexpectedly reclaimed what I thought was my own brand of special mountain magick. "Diggin It" was still good times though even sloppier than ever. The second heavyweight moment was "Fuck Em All". The band really finessed that song and I was definitely taking notes. George and Salad get extra points on FEA for the tasty flavors. "Sun Is Shining" (a song that we've always struggled with live) communicated, especially during the verses and managed to muster a healthy dose of applause. Last up was "Gasoline" (surprise!). This song was pretty faithful to the original and still carried plenty of energy. It was the right song to close with.

All in all, it was a good night. The band, of course, still had plenty of charisma and delivered an inspired performance. I had a blast. It was great fun and enlightening to hear the songs shimmy and sway, to hear which licks and ideas stayed and which were either reinterpreted or discarded entirely. In the end, I'm pleased to report that I loved it all and I still missed me very much.

So, Brettsky quit the band... but the show must go on!

That's right, folks. It's time for another crazy ho-down at the Old Towne Pub with The Purple Gang and The Evangenitals.



There is a rumor going around that we've kicked Brettsky out of the band, but you shouldn't listen to the rumors... even if we are the ones starting them!

The truth is.... HOLLYWOOD is to blame!

Brettsky's earning his stripes in the wild world of cinema editing, and the Evangenitals are going to have to persevere for one night without their beloved Coach and Master Noodler, Brett P Lyda.

So, here's the plan. We put in a call to some Evangenital Extended Family(tm) and we've got special treats for frequent fliers this show.

Jason Chesney (whom you may remember played bass for us at the infamous Knitting Factory/Trainwreck show) is stepping up on guitar (which you will also hear him playing on the forthcoming 2nd ALBUM of the Evangenitals!) and Dave "Salad" Salardino of UkeFink is making a special appearance on the mandolin!

We're bringing some 1st album gems out of the closet for review (think Quee Queg, Eva!) and also some other tunes that we rarely play for one reason or another.

And if you've been suffering from the short-set blues... we're planning a minimum of 10 songs, starting at 10pm. 10 at 10 sounds good to me.

And then the Purple Gang is going to play, putting us in a delicious aural sandwich betwixt Marty West and the Lower Companions and the Purple Gang. Good company!

And you can see it all for just $5. Be sure to tell them that you're there to see the Evangenitals... because we actually get the money at the door when we play the Old Towne Pub, and that money will help make album #2 come out a whole lot sooner!

So come on out and support us. We need all the good vibes we can pack
into the Old Towne Pub so we can put on a good 'ol show that'll make
Coach Brettsky proud!

xo
julio
the evangenitals
www.evangenitals.com

Click here to help make us look "cool" and "popular" by RSVPing/commenting on our
Myspace eVite.

p.s.
if you have any last minute requests, be sure to send 'em our way
before 7pm on Friday!

We just received a hot tip that The Evangenitals are being played on the radio waves over at Pasadena City College's PCC Radio! Ain't that something?

There are a couple other independent radio shows that we've popped up on, such as Dandelion Radio, KFJC. Heck, over on the Velvet Ropes Forum, we even got named as a highlight on the Dandelion Radio lineup:

Well now, that's an impressive playlist on Dandelion Radio.

I particularly liked Mel Gimpsuits' Sweating Like A Fat Factory Lass from their self released Send More Takeaways LP, and will definitely be trawling the interweb for aural delights from the likes of Masonic Boom and Evangenitals.

And Peter D likes us, too. Hooray!

We've heard rumors and reports of more radio play, and when the new album hits, we have a feeling that folks will be hearing a lot more of the Evangenitals on the Indie radio waves world-wide!

In the meantime, you can always hear us on Myspace, or even better, at a live show where the "full experience" is delivered with glee.

Man oh man... after this crazy week of recording new albums and trips to Vegas and back for the Buccaneer show, I figured that I'd let Kevin (the Duke of Alhambra) tell you about the show, since he put it so awesomely in his MySpace group, To All The Music Fans:

"Okay! I finally went out to a show that is worth talking about.

The band is called the Evangenitals.. The play folk rock.. The two female singers are amazing... Great vocal skills that blend into each other. The band itself was just in tune with each other. Their songs were fun and enjoyable, even if you find "FUCKING A SAILOR" offensive... The show never stopped to make you think "Do I want to leave now".. You start thinking " WOW WHAT IS GOING TO COME NEXT"!

Gasoline... Was great!
Drunken sailor... Was even better...
I can go on with each song, but they played new songs on their upcoming CD that I don't know the names of.

This is what I will love for you all to do, go to my friends list and add them. For one week go and add a song from their profile and enjoy. Just see how they make you feel.

Story:
To end I will like to tell a short story of how great they are from last night...

There was this one drunk woman at the bar, with high heels that kept lighting up as she walked. During the show she was at the bar talking very loud to the bartender.. telling him how much she loved him. She would get up and walk through the crowd to go to the restroom, but bumped into everyone on the way... did I put she was drunk?

During one of the fast pace hard moving songs of the night (*it was our cover of the Velvet Underground's Heroin... in the midst of our infamous "Medley") this drunk woman got off her chair and was walking towards the restroom, which you have to pass by the band's stage. She walked up to one of the two singers and started to grab the mic from her.. The singer, sorry that I forgot your name, was FUCKEN AMAZING! (*that would have been Julio, who is still reeling from her first totally 80's heavy metal fan make-out moment) With out missing a step she held on to the mic, kept singer the song (in its fast pace) and had the drunk woman in Aww... She didn't let the moment fall apart. She, the singer, was there to put on a show and not stop... in which she did. After the song the drunk woman started to hug the singer and kiss her.. (*tongue kiss, people!) After the song the band just smiled and stared a new song. (*the transition back into Bad Company's Feel Like Makin' Love) The drunk woman went to the restroom and back to her chair at the bar. (*her name was Willow, and it was her birthday. I'm pretty sure she will be appearing in an EvangeniTales comic very, very soon.)

If you see any bands this year this is the one that will not want to miss! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO and see EVANGENITALS."

Thank you, Kevin, for that glowing show review. That was an awesome tidbit to wake up to! For more show reviews and music discussion, here's the link again to Kevin's Myspace group: To All The Music Fans.

If you were at the last Evangenitals show, you're probably in this video.

It was Friday Night at the Old Towne Pub and the Evangenitals decided to see what would happen if one was to put Dion & the Belmonts' Runaround Sue, Bad Company's Feel Like Makin' Love, Velvet Underground's Heroin, and The Beatles' Hey Jude together into one tasty dish.

This video, shot by Patrick Ian Moore, displays the results in a rigorously honest single shot. The real stars of this video are in the crowd. God bless the Old Towne Pub and those who haunt its wooden barstools.

See it all, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUIK1KLvByY

Also just added to YouTube... The Evangenitals play for the Elderly at the La Canada Leisure Club!

**

You can be in an Evangenitals Video! Come to the next show, January 13th at The Buccaneer!

**
(Lou Reed for president - 2008)

New Pics Posted in the Image Galleries at Evangenitals.com!

Night Vision pics of the WHOLE band... including Geof Brandin on the bass and Bryan Landers guest starring on the electric banjo... are available for viewing in the Evangenitals Image Gallery!

This picture set was taken by the Rev. P-TryXXX, our resident flier artist and videographer, who you may have seen at the last batch of shows. Heck, he may have even interviewed you!

The video from the last Old Towne Pub show will be coming soon. It's currently in the editing haus (which means Brett, our editor supreme, is tinkering away with it) and I can tell you that it's going to be great. There are so many choice bits and cameos, it's just plain awesome. If you were there, you are in the video... guaranteed. Ptryxxx did a fine job of making sure that EVERYONE was counted, on film. :-)

In the meantime, you can can look at our lovely faces in Night Vision over in the Image Galleries (okay, I'll admit our lovely faces look kinda scary in Night Vision, but man are we ready to star in a musical Vampire flick!) and/or you can head over to YouTube to check out all the Evangenitals videos that are already there, longing for more comments and attention from loving eyes like yours.

Such lovely, lovely eyes you have.

(All the better to come see the first show of 2007 with, my dears)

xo
julio

Occassionally we get some really interesting link exchange requests here at Evangenitals.com

We thought we'd share this one with you. Happy Holidays.

Hello evangenitals.com,

I'm emailing you today to request a link exchange between our website and yours.

I found your website http://www.evangenitals.com by searching Google for "yeast infection". I think our websites have a similar theme to your's, so I am interested in exchanging links.

I was wondering if you would like to trade links with my yeast infection Website.

If interested please send me the Title, URL and Description of your website or the HTML
code, so that I can put them on my website of same category and in return you will provide
link from Your website .

Below given are the sites you have to link:
========================================================
Site Title: Vaginal Yeast Infections Treatments

URL: http://www.yeastinfectiontreatment.org

Desc: Resource on helping women deal with yeast infections with information on prevention, symptoms and treatment.

========================================================
Alternately, you may like to add the following code to your links page:-

Vaginal Yeast Infections Treatments:
Resource on helping women deal with yeast infections with information on prevention, symptoms and treatment.

Upon receiving the Title, URL and Description of your website or the HTML code, I will
promptly provide link back to your site.
Please, let me know if you have any questions or comments.Looking forward for a positive response.

Thank you,
yeastinfectiontreatment@wonder-directory.com
Yeastinfectiontreatment Team

This Friday December 15th We, the Evangenitals will be playing our last
show of 2006 at the Old Towne Pub in Pasadena.

I would very much like you to be there, if you can. There are many
reasons for this. I will list them, and you can pick whichever you
like, put it in your pocket, and come see the show.

1. This is the last Evangenitals show of '06.
(see explanation above)

2. The last show was so friggin' dope, and this one is gonna be even
better.
Need proof? Watch this video from the last show. If you were AT the
last show (Kent, Leslie, Sharon, Alan, Joseph, Eliot etc) you may find
yourself IN the video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdZjSq-ydA

3. This is a fundraiser for our next album.
In January we will be hitting the studio to lay down tracks for all
your new, favorite songs that weren't on the first album. Like Fuck
'em All. So if you have wanted a recording of Fuck 'em All, come to
the show, and we will be able to make you one in January. We need
$600 to pull this off, and all proceed from the show go toward the
new album.

4. Because we love you.
We really do. Always have, always will. Seriously.

5. The "Super-Deluxe Medley of Cover Songs".
I'm not kidding. This medley will blow your mind, and you can only
hear it live, this time, while we've got the Holiday Balls to go
through with it.

6. We (10:15pm) are playing with the Natural Disasters (9:30pm) and
the Purple Gang (11:15pm) which means we have the musical spectrum
covered, from punk rock to blues to hillbilly soul to psychedelic
rock to 50's doo wop. We got it. Come n' get it.

7. There will be press coverage, celebrity photographs, and we need
your sexy faces to come make us look good. Video interviews.
Paparazzi, baby. This is Hollywoodland. Put your face on and be
seen.

If none of these reasons prove sufficient to encourage your presence
at this epic show, (or if you happen to be in another state, which is
a decent excuse) please at a minimum send us your good, supportive
thoughts and prayers.

And please be sure to check out ALL the new Evangenitals videos on
YouTube, and don't forget to leave us some comments!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdZjSq-ydA

The Evangenitals & Friends
Holiday Hoe-Down
Old Towne Pub Pasadena
66 N Fair Oaks Ave
Pasadena, CA 91103
Price: $5
9:30pm Natural Disasters
10:15pm Evangenitals
11:15pm The Purple Gang

All my lovin'
Juli Crockett
The Evangenitals
http://www.evangenitals.com

Hello Friends.

This is a video capturing an epic occurence that I'd like to share with you. It shows me, Juli Crockett, and my band, The Evangenitals performing at the Old Towne Pub in Pasadena. Caught on this tape is the moment where I, Juli Crockett, first performed an Evangenitals song STANDING UP on stage, rather than safely seated in a chair.

It was disorienting, frightening, and totally awesome. I would very much like to do more of it, as you may note that I could use a little practice.

p.s
I'm not drunk in this video... I'm just gaining my sea legs. ;-)


Please have a look, and leave us a comment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdZjSq-ydA

Cum in my pants.

That's what this picture makes me want to do.

Kyle Gass of Tenacious D & Trainwreck fame, posing with my band sticker. Aww yeah, man. We Arr The Evangenitals!

This Friday Night at the Old Towne Pub in Pasadena the Evangenitals are playing a show. We are also celebrating drummer George Bernardo's birthday, and shooting some live video footage for posterity.

We are ALSO celebrating the fancy new *tm* that we can now legally put next to the Evangenitals(tm) name, because, frankly, WE OWN THE WORD!!! Hooray!

A Brief History:
Invented by Juli Crockett on a ho-hum day at work in early 2003, the term "Evangenitals"(tm) became the name of a faux band, consisting of buddies and coworkers Juli Crockett, Lisa Dee, and Brett Lyda. Flash forward to an open mic appearance, designed to help Juli cope with her "shyness" and the rest is history. And your part of it. Come witness more history in the making at the Old Towne Pub.

Look at what Brett did! It's the Evangenitals Video Debut on YouTube!

For the love of all things good in the world, please register to walk with us, TEAM EVANGENITALS, in the AIDS Walk Los Angeles on October 15th!

We need at least 20 walkers on our team to qualify for our very own Team Meeting Station, and gad'dangit... we want TEAM EVANGENITALS to be a spectacular demonstration of Evangelistic Genital Joy on this day!

It costs nothing but a few hours of your time to walk with us, so please SIGN UP HERE!

If you can't make it and you'd like to make a donation to the cause, you can do so on the so RIGHT HERE.

MAJOR THANKS TO AEBN, XPEEPS, AND THE STOCKROOM FOR THEIR SPONSORSHIP OF TEAM EVANGENITALS!

Thanks,
Juli C & Lisa Dee
Evangenitals

***

TEAM MEETING STATION DEADLINE

Wednesday, October 4

In order to qualify for a Team Meeting Station at the AIDS Walk you need to have at least 20 walkers registered on your team by this coming Wednesday, October 4 at NOON. A Team Meeting Station is a table with your team name on a sign. Walkers will still be able to register and raise money for your team after this date, but they will not count towards qualifying for the Team Meeting Station. As an extra incentive to recruit walkers by next Wednesday, Chipotle has generously donated the prize for our next registration competition!

WIN 100 FREE CHIPOTLE BURRITOS!

The two teams that register the most walkers between today, Friday, September 29 at 5:00 p.m., and Wednesday, October 4, at NOON, will each win 100 Chipotle Burrito Bucks (good for one free burrito) for their team! Last year during this week, over 4,300 walkers registered on teams, and one team alone registered 159 walkers, so the competition promises to be fierce!

Use the Burrito Bucks to have a team celebration fiesta after the walk or give them out as “Thank You” to your donors.

Good gracious, we're in the big leagues now. With the production of our new Super Mega Promo spot, which can be found all over the Intra-Web as of right now, we are now feeling the pressure of delivering the BIGGEST Big Love Revolution yet on September 11th at the Derby.

Lord help us let the show live up to the crazy hype of this WWF-style Monday Night Fights promo commercial that Brettsky whupped up for the show:

Listen to the Madness on the Monday Night Promo, Here.

You can also hear this bizzness on YouTube and comment, rate, pass & share it. It's on the Myspace page too, beautiful people.

Hook it up. Spread the word. We're bringing the love cannon to the Derby. The world needs it, and we need you.

Much Love,
Genital Julius

An eyewitness reported seeing one Julio Crockett of the Evangenitals at Dr Music in Eagle Rock, California last weekend purchasing a fistfull of brightly colored Kazoos and an official Snoopy Mouth Organ.

She was in the company of one Rev. P-TryXXX Demention of the SouperKlawBrazzz who was observed purchasing a purple guitar strap and shaking a plastic banana.

At this time we are unclear on what Juli and the Evangenitals plan to do with all those Kazoos, though there is speculation that all will be revealed at the upcoming BIG LOVE REVOLUTION going down at the Derby on September 11th.

There are rumors of prizes, surprises, and new songs.

More news, coming soon.

Well, every once in a while I just like to take a beating for the hell of it... and that is why I entered the Evangenitals' showtune "The Sun is Shining" into the rotation for reviews at GarageBand.com. Yes folks, this is the same place in which one keen reviewer criticized The Work Song for being "repetitive".... god I love the music scene.

It will be interesting, to say the least, to see what kind of reception Sun is Shining will get over there.

In other news...

Join TEAM EVANGENITALS for the AIDS Walk Los Angeles on October 15th! We're forming a team, we're taking donations, we're raising funds and awareness for AIDS research! For us, it makes perfect sense that the Evangenitals should do all we can to protect the Genitals of the world and keep them happy, healthy, and holistically high-functioning!

Come walk with us!

Click here for more information, to sponsor, and to join the crusade!

Hello All.

This may seem like commandeering the Evangenitals' blog for strange other purposes, but if you live in Los Angeles and want to have your arty roots shaken like a fruit tree till the ripe sweetness falls off and deodarizes the globe, you'll thank me for telling you about this.

I am Juli Crockett. I am the lead singer of the Evangenitals. However, I am also a writer and director of experimental theater, and I have made an Opera.
http://redcat.org/season/0506/com/now3.php

My friend Jeremy Zuckerman, who also happens to compose for the awesome show Avatar: The Last Airbender on Nickelodeon, composed this piece with me.

Lisa Dee of the Evangenitals is featured in the piece, acting and singing. And Jeff Jones and myself play in the 10 piece musical ensemble which includes violins, a harp, contrabass, pedal steel, and a bulgarian folk singer, among other things. With all those Genitals in the mix, it pretty much merits as Evangenital news, I say!

The piece is called "Orpheus Crawling" and it is my child-like, half-crazed, totally-delightful, slightly-disturbing, philosophically-rooted riff on the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. It is an Opera. I guarantee you have never seen anything like it. I know this because Jeremy and I made it up. From start to finish.

It is playing at the REDCAT Theater in Los Angeles, closing out the NOW Fest (new original works) in that freaking metal Gehry building downtown. It runs from August 3rd-5th. Bring the kids. What doesn't kill them will make them stronger.

You can buy a ticket here: www.redcat.org

It is expected to sell out, so please really do go and buy a ticket.

For directions, more information about the show, ticket, pictures, etc. Go to the REDCAT site, here:
http://redcat.org/season/0506/com/now3.php

Thank you for supporting the arts in Lost Angeles.

Love,
Juli

it has occurred to me that it may be high time that we* actually begin to enter the discourse of talking about what's going on with the evangenitals. what does it mean, what is the mission, is this for us to say? will it jinx the magic if we look at it closely? i can't help but look at it. it is so beautiful.

*we meaning you and me. yes you.
please enter the discourse.
hurry.

I just realized I've been publishing my personal poo in the wrong blog! Hells bells.

Here's some Evangenitals news for you:

This just made my friggin' day....

Check out the Dancing Duo!

Thanks Banjo. You just earned yourself the eternal love of the Evangenitals. And a free T-Shirt to boot!

Rock on.

Hello Sunshine.

This is, without a doubt, the most action-packed Evangenitals weekend
yet.  So, I'll start with what I consider to be the most important
thing:

This Saturday.  April 29th.  9pm Sharp.  The Evangenitals are tearing
the roof off of Highland Grounds.  Guaranteed.

Yes, I know that's some tough talk, and I CHALLENGE ye to come and
throw down with what we got in store for you.

The Evangenitals are on fire with new songs and the eye of the tiger,
our new drummer George is playing his GIANT kick drum, and new-daddy
Dave "Salad" Salardino is back on the Banjo and Mandolin.

That's 6 of us versus 1 of you.  We're gonna hump your eardrums like
wild rabbits, buddy.

Best of all, it's just $5 w/ an EvanJunkie Card or Flier.  That is, I
assure you, the best damn deal in town!

Here's the tempting morsels:

Flier that gets you in for just $5:
http://www.evangenitals.com/images/hugecomicflier.jpg

New Traxx to whet yer whistle:
Sun is Shining
http://www.evangenitals.com/music-4.html
Ode to Scientology
http://www.evangenitals.com/music-5.html

All the details are at http://www.evangenitals.com/calendar.html

If you do nothing else this weekend, please do us at Highland Grounds.

9pm
Highland Grounds
742 North Highland Ave.
Hollywood, CA

90038
$7/$5 w/ EvanJunkie Card or Flier

So, you can stop reading there.  Or, if you're looking for more
action... we're here for you:

*At 1pm on Saturday April 29th at the 24th Street Theater you can see
ALL of the members of the Evangenitals participating in Juli's latest
dramatic magnum opus "Orpheus Crawling" composed by Jeremy Zuckerman and
featuring Shaughn Buchholz, Christine Berry, Lisa Dee, and Christopher
Goodson
http://www.24thstreet.org/explore3.html

*At 7pm on Sunday April 30th you can see Juli participate in a Dead
Poet's Slam and Evangina (the ladies of the Evangenitals) perform at the
Mt Hollywood Underground Speakeasy
http://www.evangina.com/calendar.html

We love you.
Warts and All.

Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, Salad, and George.
The Evangenitals
www.evangenitals.com

This is the shit.

Hey guys.

I can't make it to this show tonight, but it sounds absolutely awesome
so I thought I'd tip of the rest of y'all --

The man's name is Phillip Roebuck, and he's a ONE MAN BAND. Aww yeah!
And he's playing tonight at Pennylane Records in Pasadena FOR FREE.

I love it.

Represent, represent.

Here's a link to his Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/philliproebuck

Spread the love.

Support the man with a drum on his back.

xoxo
julio

For the love of all that's good in the world, please go read Brettsky's Blog for a damn fine summary of what's been going down with the Genitals this year.

http://brettsky.blogspot.com/

It's the real dope.

- Juli

Happy Holidays Everyone!

This Weekend, Saturday and Sunday 12/17 and 12/18 from 12pm to 7pm:
SANBORN COTTAGE INDUSTRIES is having an

<<-X-MAS SALE->>

Unique gifts and crafts at reasonable prices
Featuring Original LA Styles from
ORQUIDIA VIOLETA, Clothing and Scarves
CINNAMON ROLL GANG, mutant dolls and bags
SKRAMBLE, Silkscreen prints and clothes
ARACELI SILVA, fine jewelry
RHONDA, paintings and objets d'art
JUDY WINDRA, hula hoops and caps

HOLIDAY SHOPPING in a FESTIVE ATMOSPHERE!

**with live music by the EVANGENITALS (Sat) and TRIPLE CHICKEN FOOT
(Sun)**

come and get it!

Located at 852-856 Sanborn, Silverlake, Los Angeles

The Evangenitals will be playing at 1pm Sharp on Saturday the 17th. A
casual acoustic set, and we're taking requests. This looks like our
last show for 2005, so we encourage you to come on out and stock up on
enough Evangenitals goodness to last you through the New Year.

Go here for the flyer and more information: http://www.evangenitals.com/calendar.html

These are some pics of the EvanGenitals, having a blast, at the Double G Magazine Fundraiser.

Our hats are off to all and sundry who made it there, and there were a LOT of you, seeing as parking in that Echo Park neigh-bor-hood was a major crap-pants affair.

Check out these fine ladies over on Myspace, and please give them the ADD button tickle. Their's is a worthy cause, and we encourage you to support 'em.

Anyhoo... who ain't got love for the lesbians?

Who like LESBIANS????

Hi there.

Hope you had a happy, safe, and not too sugar-shocked Halloween!

To bring ourselves down from the fructose high, The Evangenitals are planning on doing it Low-like at the Lava Lounge on Thursday night.

This Thursday night. November 3rd. At Midnight. Jeff Jones will turn on the Space
Bass, Lisa and Juli will lay out the harmonies, Brett will bend some strings, and the Evangenitals will make slow, sweet, sonic love to all those present.

Since we've been getting rockin'er and rowdier at recent shows, we thought it'd be nice to revisit the slowness. So on Thursday come on down and have a seat, have a sigh, and let us massage your heart for a while.

The Lava Lounge is located at:
1533 North La Brea Ave
Los Angeles, CA, 90028

I know that music starts at 9pm. Shaped Like a Gun and LoFi Sugar are playing, among some other fine folks. The Evangenitals take it down at Midnight.

I know that many of you who read this blog live nowhere near Lost Angeles and cannot attend our local shows. Well, here's something to think about:

If you can't be here with us on our home turf, there are many other things you can do to be a part of the Genital movement. For example,

1. You could visit www.cdbaby.com/cd/evangenitals and check out previews of our
album. If you've heard the album, you can review it on the site, even without
purchasing it there!

2. You could download our tunes off iTunes, and then play them loudly at work.

3. You could be our friend on Myspace or Friendster or Tribe.

4. You could share photos with us at evangenitals.buzznet.com

5. You could tell a friend about the Evangenitals. Tell your mom. Tell your local radio station. Tell your aunt, the rich producer.

All of these things would help the Evangenitals get to your town a whole lot sooner, and then we could finally be together. Just you and us.

The long and short of it is that we love you, and thank you for supporting the
Evangenitals in whatever ways you do.

Sincerely,
Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, and Salad
The Evangenitals

(hey now, here's a shout out to the godless comment-spammers, you bastards! see the light and stop the madness! no one follows your devil-links! desist! i always delete you! get the hint, donkey bums!)

Holy Crap... The Evangenitals are going to be on Television!

You heard me right. On Television!

QTV, to be exact. At 9am, this Friday, October 28th. The show is called "Brunch" and we're the musical guests.

I'm not sure exactly how the cookie will crumble, as this has been a fly by the seat of our pants kind of affair, however, I do know that we will be in Halloween attire, playing two full length tunes during the hour and 1/2 program, groove-riding in an out of the commercial breaks (slipping in the leads to some of our dirtier numbers that were not approved for televised performance) and there are rumors of Jeff Jones bustin' out the thong once again, if the FCC will allow it.

Evangenital Brettsky, unfortunately, has to be in school that morning... so it's up to Juli, Lisa, Jones, and Salad to represent the magic of the Evangenitals for this, our first televised appearance. We shall do it, Brett! We shall transmit the joy!

Now, if you've got a request for a song or a shout out, you better send it our way pronto! No four letter words, but "suggestive" is alright, I'm told.

And guess what... it's a LIVE show, so you can even call in while we're there! You can call the show from 9am-10:30am Pacific time / 12pm-1:30pm Eastern. The phone number for the call-ins is 818-848-5008.

Information on how to watch us on Friday can be found here: *Subscription Information*

In other news, we're gearing down for the Lava Lounge show at Midnight on Thursday, November 3rd. Lately our shows have been getting mighty rockin' and rowdy, and we're gonna take it down about 11 notches for one night to revisit some of our mellow golden space bass harmonious low-ness. It's gonna be a late night lounge love fest, to be sure.

Tune in on Friday! Barrage the network with loving emails! See your darling Genitals on Television! Get happy!

Much love,
Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, and Salad.
The Evangenitals

Hi. How are you? Is the weather getting you down? Are you feeling okay? Do you need a little cheer-me-up? Are you ready for the hoe-down arse-kicking insanity that is sure to go down at the Old Towne Pub gig this Friday night?

On October 21st The Evangenitals will be playing our first show at Ye Olde Towne Pub, hidden behind the very new shiny Container Store in Old Town Pasadena, California, USA.

We are hitting the stage at 10pm with Don Short filling in on drums and mouth organ, Dave "Salad" Salardino moving up to the front lines on Banjo and Electric Mandolin, and Jeff Jones fresh out of his cast on the Bass Guitar. Juli's playing Brett's Guitar, Brett's playing Electric, Lisa's playing with a pic... all hell is breakin' loose. It's gonna be a bar-appropriate drinking song love fest. A special night to be sure.

The exact address is:

Old Towne Pub
66 N Fair Oaks Ave
Pasadena, CA 91103

The Line-Up is:
Service Group 9:15
The Evangenitals 10:15
The New Fidelity 11:15
Criminal Belly 12:15

All the bands are fantastic. None be missed. This is going to be a great show. Believe it. And it's all for $5. Dope.

In other news, Happy Halloween.

In more other news, there rumors of an upcoming Evangina album (previews available at www.myspace.com/weareevangina) and Brett been working hard rehearsing his own stuff with his "other" band. *gasp* *shock* *awe*

If you aren't local to the Los Angeles area, you can help us out by downloading the Evangenitals on iTunes, buying our album on CDBaby.com and TowerRecords.com, and reviewing our album on either of those sites.

You could also collect local club information for us and help us book a gig in your town... then you'd get to feel the magic of the Genital Evangelizing Music in your very own city!

We love you, always and already.
No kidding.
We thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, and Salad
The Evangenitals

Christ on a Christmas crutch! The promulgation of blogs in the cyberverse is making it damn hard to keep anything updated...

The sheer sureness of failure weighs down upon me like the world upon the shoulders of atlas. Dear lord, how to be in all places at all times, in the moment, up to date? Dear lord, teach me thy omnipresent ways.

The evangenitals are in the midst of entering their first songwriting competition. This is indeed the harbinger of more things to come. We're trying to get into the Emergenza festival, not necessarily with any intention of winning, but for the free guitar & bass strings, drum sticks, t-shirts, and a 1st round gig in San Francisco. We're easy like that.

Julio's brother, Jaisen Crockett, photographer extra-ordinare is going to be shooting the cover for an upcoming U2 album next week. Sometime pre-Thanksgiving he's going to be coming to Los Angeles and shooting The Evangenitals. Bono's up for the Nobel Peace Prize, and with a single visit from Jaisen the six degrees of separation betwixt the Evangenitals and the Nobel Peace Prize will be that much smaller!

Stay tuned for the shiny new world.

And in the meantimes...

Check out the Evangenitals Photo Love Share Project on Buzznet. This is where we dump all of our favorite images, and you can join in on the fun by contributing your own Evangenital memorabilia. Get down on it.
Hell yeah.

For all you Los Angeles area folks:

It's been a long time since the Evangenitals have thrown it down at Mr T's Bowl in Highland Park.

On Friday September 2nd, our absence shall be rectified, souls shall be honored, new songs will fly through the air, and hearts will soar.

The line-up is absolutely top notch, and the Genitals are kicking the night off at 10pm SHARP!

(Be there at 9:30 for jokes, tuning, and a good seat on the rug!)

*Monte Carlo 76 -- nominated best Latin rock band by LA weekly -- will take over at 10:45
*retrodeamon -- a Santa Barbara all-star band -- grabs the torch at 11:30
*Ninja Academy -- celebrating their record release -- gives you your cake and eats it too at 12:15 and *8-bit -- robot rappers extraordinaire -- will make you shake your tired ass at 1am.

Oh yeah, and this show is free.
You hear that? F-R-E-E

And don't forget: Mr T's has happy hour drink prices all night long!
Can I get a HELL yeah?

We hope to see you there.

Mr T's Bowl
5621 1/2 Figueroa
Los Angeles, California, USA

Much love,
Juli, Lisa, Brett, Jones, and Salad
The Evangenitals

Anybody who is on Myspace... here's a project for ya!

If you're feeling feisty and even minutely motivated today... how about voting for the Evangenitals to go to Coachella next year? How about passing this on and telling your friends to tell their friends to pass it on a make a difference in the world:

here is the link, it is long and obnoxious so i embedded it under this text

Yes, we know, we'll never win, however, the effort will surely bring greater and broader name recognition, an increase in genital awareness (which is a good thing) and that glorious feeling of fighting for the underdog.

And did we mention the Evangenital Juli is an ordained minister with the god-given power to absolve sin? Hell yeah! And she'd be more than happy to do it for you if you'd help the Genitals get the good word out in the streets, so that we may follow that word, and bring the message to the people at large. To the large people. So dig it.

If you're NOT on Myspace yet, stop fighting and give up. They're taking over.
You can find us there at: www.myspace.com/evangenitals
Evangina is on there too: www.myspace.com/weareevangina
and the animated true tales of the Evangenitals band, EvangeniTales, is on there too: www.myspace.com/evangenitales
And Juli and Lisa and Brett and Brett's music are all on there too...
but not Jeff Jones. Jeff Jones don't own no dang computator. You gotta be kidding.

So, please help. We'd really like to start touring soon. Make enough money to buy a van and do it the Willie Nelson way. Dear people, you could help that happen if you'd just tell a few friends about the Evangenitals. Pay it forward, pass it on, post a link, pebble in a pond, you know the drill.

We love you, even if you don't.
We thank you, even if you won't.

Juli, Lisa, Brett, and Jones
The Evangenitals

PLEASE PASS AROUND AND REPOST!!!

This info comes from one of the music groups I belong to. Even if you're not from Los Angeles originally, add your voice to the cause...or see Los Feliz become the 3rd street promenade! yuck...EASTSIDE RESISTANCE!!!...thanks!

Friends, fellow Los Felizians, members of the media & other cool folks:

I am reaching out to inform you of a horrifying scheme now moving forward to demolish the world-famous Derby nightclub and adjacent Louise's restaurant and replace them with a generic five-story condo / retail development in the heart of wonderful little Los Feliz! With zero publicity and notice to neighborhood residents thus far, Woodland Hills-based Alder Realty Investments Inc. has purchased the property and is quietly navigating the zoning approval process necessary to carry out their dastardly plans.

I doubt I'll have to sell many people on the coolness and historical importance of the Derby in the Hollywood community. Built as the Willard's Chicken Inn restaurant circa 1928 -- with the backing of none other than longtime Los Feliz resident Cecil B. DeMille -- it eventually became one of the five legendary Brown Derbys where Tinseltown's elite gathered between 1940 and 1960. Joan Crawford famously tended bar there in 1945's "Mildred Pierce." And of course Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau memorably entered via the kitchen in 1996's "Swingers" -- helping to trigger a nationwide swing craze with the Derby as its indisputable epicenter. Whether you're into swing dancing or, like me, have enjoyed seeing local music acts play under its distinctive wooden dome in recent years, the Derby's place in the thriving local arts / nightlife community is unassailable. It's the Derby, for cryin' out loud!

This is the unique historical venue the developers feel they must destroy and replace with condos and chain retail space that could be found on any corner in any city in America. And with the Derby would die one more place in the world with a special character and energy all its own. Another piece of L.A. history gone forever. And that could be the beginning of the end for the Los Feliz we know and love, which is already fighting to hang onto its special vibe in the face of encroaching Starbucksization.

The good news: Resistance to the Development From Hell is already forming! Last night, I attended a meeting of the Greater Griffith Park Neighborhood Council Planning/Zoning and Historic Preservation Committee -- an advisory board to the city of L.A. -- and I was encouraged to learn that a group of concerned local residents and Derby fans has begun organizing the Save the Derby Coalition to focus local opposition to this horrible idea. But they're going to need a lot of help to win this David-V.-Goliath battle.

As I understand the situation after the meeting last night, this thing is a freight train moving on well-lubricated rails toward a destination that will turn a fat buck for people who really, really love money. The only thing that will stop it is a loud outcry from the community -- loud enough to get the city council's attention and make them think twice about the cost-benefit ratio. They need to know a lot of people will be fighting mad about this or it's goodbye, Derby.

With that in mind, I urge anyone still reading this e-mail to:

E-MAIL L.A. CITY COUNCILMAN TOM LaBONGE (who represents the Los Feliz area) at: Labonge@council.lacity.org
As I understand it, LaBonge and the council are the crucial pressure point for this deal. While various committees will be weighing in over a long process, the development will ultimately require city approval to go through. If LaBonge and others on the council see the outcry against it as dangerous enough to themselves, the Derby just might be saved. So outcry today and outcry often! (LaBonge's website: http://www.lacity.org/council/cd4/)

Members of the media: You know what to do.

The Save the Derby Coalition website and e-mail list should be operational soon.

The Derby's webpage on their history:
http://www.the-derby.com/history.html?20,15

Alder Realty's webpage on their plans for the Derby property:
http://www.adler-realty.com/ARI/Investments/Los%20Feliz.htm

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Get Ready....

The Evangenitals have found their soul-brother!

Introducing Jeff Hudson, creator of the Magical Penis Unicorn.

HOT SAX!!!!

Well, Not exactly, but....

HOT TRAXX, fo shizzo!

We got a new mix of Never Again up on the page, with added treats and
mad mixin' skillz.... check it out, y'all. Please give it a listen
and leave your comments. Rate that shit. Get involved in the muzak.

Get hip, right here: http://www.myspace.com/evangenitals
(where the wild musics are)

The BIG SHOW is coming soon, so ya gotta start memorizing the lyrics
for sing-a-long fun, dig?

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! FEEDBACK, YO! BRING IT!

We're Back on the Saddle Again!

HELLO EVERYBODY! How's everyone doing?

Happy first full day of official SUMMERTIME!

The Evangenitals have been on "break" for over a MONTH... We know, it was a scary time for all of us, HOWEVER, we are happy to bring you great news and tidings of joy. Tidal waves of joy!

Along with the sun and the summer, Genital Juli has finally returned to her homeland from the Alps of Switzerland -- chock full of knowledge and knick-knacks -- with some new tunes and a new tan to boot. (Full story on her blog)

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD YET...

*Our album WE ARE THE EVANGENITALS is available ONLINE for your purchasing pleasure at CDBABY and TOWER RECORDS!

*If you have already gotten the album, PLEASE add your reviews to BOTH the CDBaby and Tower Records pages. If you don't got no money, you can hear two minutes of every track on the album at CDBaby, and a few full songs over on Myspace! (FYI: Both Evangina and Brettsky have music pages on Myspace as well)

*All the tracks off the album are also becoming available for digital download RIGHT NOW on MP3tunes, Rhapsody, Apple iTunes, Puretracks, MusicMatch, MusicNow, MusicNet, LoudEye, MSN Music, NetMusic, and Sony Connect. Believe it or not, even if you just jump on iTunes and put in search requests for The Evangenitals, it helps us. I don't know how, but it does. I think it's Karma.

*We are in the pre-production/planning/deliberating phases of our first Music Video! That's gonna be crazy. Keep an eye out for upcoming requests for extras.

And...

This is the big one...

Word on the street is that the Genitals are getting back together after Juli's
abandoning the nation, and they're going to be playing a "reunion" show soon. And rumor is that Ukefink is going to come out of "retirement" to join us. That's gonna be one hell of a party.

Holy mother of all that's sacred.... the Evangenitals new album can now be found on TowerRecords.com!!!
CHECK THIS SH!T OUT!!!!!!!

Please click the link and give it a looksie... and let those suckas at Tower know that somebody's looking at the Evangenitals!

Help us out by hittin' it, here: http://www.towerrecords.com/product.aspx?pfid=3256289

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Well now.... here's the news:

*The Evangenitals are working on some new music for the sequel of Sean Sullivan's Ben: the angriest canary. More or less, we are hoping to be the Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem for the year 2005 and beyond. And we're hoping that some forward-think producer gives this project the shiny green light and we all go skipping the light fantastic onto ye olde televisor and can touch some lives with the happy mind-control medium.

*Our awesome import limited release Jeff Jones autographed CD "We Are The Evangenitals" has just been mailed off to the fine folks at CD Baby to be added to their online catalog and facilitate intra-web purchasing of this musical masterpiece. We're very excited. Expect linky buttons everywhere, and SOON!

*We're adding a couple more shows before Julio goes to Switzerland to fill her head with rubbish for a month at the PhD school in the Alps. Last time she was there, she came back with "Lisa's Song" and the break-up song "Time to go"... we're looking forward to what seeds some more travel with a small guitar and some mad philosophizing will sprout in her melon patch. Both Evangina and the Evangenitals will throw down some goodbye goodness before May 24th. Look for it.

*Julio's $5 Hippie Love Money Tree campaign has been working out swell. Many thanks and high-fives to all who have saved her from starvation, homelessness, and not getting that all-important plane-ticket to school! Please let the love flow, and any time any of you need a 5-spot, don't hesitate to ask. Activate the money tree, shake that trunk and watch the rain of co-operation trickle down.

*Did you know we had our own health food store? It's true! Check it out: http://evangenitals.wholefoodfarmacy.com/ Julio's sister turned us on to this place. The Personal Care section is our favorite. Julio's sister is quite the mountain hippie. Hell, she lives in a Yurt, she's hiked almost the entire Appalachian trail, and she eats raw foods and grows her own veggies. She is hippie. Hear her rawr.

We love you all.
Spread the good news.
Amen.

I don't know how this happened, or how long it will last, however....

Evangina's "Beautiful Boy" is topping the Indie Charts over at AudioStreet.com.

See for yourself: follow this link!

The Evangenitals are still holding strong on Audio Street as well, with Gasoline and The Work Song in the Alternative Country Top Ten, and Hey Ya dominating the Alternative Cover Song charts.

Go pay a visit, download, rock out, and help us keep rocking them charts. Small victories keep us keeping up.

Get Excited!

Here's some updates as to just what in the hell is going on over here at Genital Central:

*We're getting ready for shows! Big shows! Exciting shows with new songs and some new instruments and some old faces and some good friends! April's shows are ALL going to be RIDICULOUS goodtimes. We're trying some shizz we've never tried before, growing in new directions, and it's gonna be TITS, my friends. TITS!

*The Official Barcoded Album Supreme is on the horizon! Brett is tweaking and twerking and engineering his big, juicy heart out in the studio, and it's almost time! NEW mixes (with special new guests and super-sounds) of Gasoline and Never Again! Newly Added Songs! Full art with Fashion Feature of Jeffrey G. Jones, Genital Supreme.

*Jeff Jones has an email address. If you're in the know, you know how momentous this occasion is. MOMENTOUS! Drop the bee-atch a line, ya'll. Drop it like it's hot. genitaljonesie@yahoo.com

*EVANGENITALS STRIKE THE NETHERLANDS! Or, at least, the intra-web via the Netherlands. A mini-album online release of the Genitals goodness will be coming out soon, compliments of Weirdo Music's new web label, WM Recordings. We in because we're weird.

There's more, of course, but I ain't gonna beat ya'll over the gord with it just now. Not yet.

Keep the Faith, yo.

The Unicron

Our play. Tomorrow afternoon. $5. One last chance.

Saturday March 19th at 1pm. For one afternoon only.

The 24th Street Theater presents:

The Dawn of Quixote: Chapter the First

Written and directed by Juli Crockett

Featuring Shaughn Buchholz, Christopher Goodson, and Lisa Dee

Scenic Design by Melissa Ficociello
Costumes by Irina Kruzhilina
Music by Mike Ibarra

We're kicking off the Saturday Explorer Series at the 24th Street Theater and it's going to be ridiculous.

Ages 7-177 are welcome to attend.

The show is only $5. Free for neighborhood residents. Reservations strongly recommended.

This is a one-shot, one-show deal... so please come on down and catch The Dawn of Quixote one last time.

24th Street Theater
1117 West 24th Street
Los Angeles, CA 90007

Call 213-745-6516 for Reservations

Directions to the Theater are Here:
http://www.24thstreet.org/directions.html

Jeff Jones

In a Thong

TONIGHT!

The Evangenitals are playing a free show at Mudpuppy Coffee House in Highland Park tonight. At 10pm.

Rumor has it that Jeff Jones is going to sport a Leather thong (on sale now!) for a mere $50.

The poor boy has to pay his phone bill somehow.

Tips accepted. Requests played.

Come n' get it.

Mudpuppy Coffee House
4219 N. Figueroa St., Los Angeles, CA 90065
Phone: (323) 223 • 4500 - Fax: (323) 223 • 4500
www.themudpuppy.net

How to get to Mudpuppy?
110 Freeway to the Avenue 43 Exit
Go North - If you were going north on the 110
Go Right - If you were going south on the 110
Go just one block to Figueroa Street

Hey buddy....

Were you at the last Derby show?

WELL, CHECK OUT THE PICTURES RIGHT HERE!

A picture is worth 1000 words...

Hey folks... this is the heads up.

We are playing so many shows this month it's ridiculous, and we need
all the love and support and attendance we can muster.

The tide has started to turn, and we're getting all sorts of media
attentions... which means there will be reviewers, critics, nay-sayers
and suspicious minds at many of these events.

Every single one is special, and every single one needs a good, 'ol
fashinoned, sing-along, Evangenitals audience. The band is only half
the experience, and it's our special friends in the crowd that really
makes a show night something special.

So please... rally the troops, activate your amigos, stir up a posse,
and help us conquer this concrete jungle whilst spreading the sweet
sweet Evangenital magic.

You can check out the calendar at www.evangenitals.com/calendar.html
for dates, times, and addresses.

You can even use the Yahoo Group to organize carpools! http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/evangenitals

Bring the love. Bring the lawnchairs. Bring the blankets and candy.

First stop:

Tuesday, February 8th at Tangier where we're playing with Gwendolyn
and Becky Stark. An incredible night of music, at an all-new location
for us, staring at 8pm SHARP with the Evangenitals.

Thanks to you all.

- The Evangenitals

Updates and Reminders:

We have our own comic! Drawn by the keen hand and slim fingers of our own Brett Lyda, The EvangeniTales is updated weekly, with new adventures and revealing tidbits about those sweet spiritual bastards, The Evangenitals. See it here: EvangeniTALES!

We're still on the charts at Audio Street, with our slow, sultry cover of HeyYa coming in at #1 in Alternative Cover Songs. (sometimes #2)... um... it depends what time of the day you log in, methinks.

Joining us over there at Audio Street is our feminine half, Evangina, who've got their own little blog and muzak page now (due to their wild success and new fan-base in Long Beach)... They're also on MySpace! (add! add! add!)

And of course, tonight at the Derby we will be celebrating our One Year Anniversary with an ALL-EVANGENITALS set. Joining us are friends Hello Fever, Pink Mochi, Poolabomb, and Shaped Like a Gun. It's good to have friends.

Oh yeah... one more thing:

Juli is going to be in the next edition of Sports Illustrated. No kidding. It hits the newsrack on Friday (the 28th). It's kind of a long story. You can read all about it here.

That's the news.

We love you.

The Genital Gang

THIS IS A SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT:

On January 21st 2005, The Evangenitals will celebrate their 1st Anniversary in a Grand Hootenanny at the world famous Derby in Los Feliz.

Local favorites Pink Mochi, Hello Fever, and our good friends Shaped Like a Gun and Poolabomb will be joining the Genitals on this joyful night.

The show is gonna start at 8:30pm. The cost is $7.

The experience of sharing this glorious moment in history with your dear darling darlings the Evangenitals?

Priceless.

It's a Friday night, so please come on down early and stay late.

The Genitals will have home-grown Unicron T-Shirts and CD's available.

We will all be filled with good cheer and hella gratitude for such an amazing year of musical love-making and sweet sweet nylon stroking.

All this is going down at the Derby.

Please join us on this special night.

The Derby
4500 Los Feliz Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027
323-663-8979

Greetings Everyone.

The Evangenitals would like to wish you all some very
happy holly jollies this holiday season.

To show and share our boundless joy, we will be
playing a free show at the Equator Coffee Shop in Old
Town Pasadena this Wednesday, December 29th, at 9pm
Sharp.

We will be playing for approximately an hour and
possibly and hour and a half. We will play requests.
We will be bringing the Salad to accompany on drums.
There will be Unicron T-Shirts and CD's available.
Julio's Mom will be there.

We will play our hearts out in a glorious celebration
of the year 2004 (the year which marked the birth of
the Evangenitals, among other things of varying
importance) and extend welcoming salutations to the
year 2005 which promises non-stop giggles, rainbows,
cookies and sky-skittles* to all who attend.
(*individual results may vary)

The simple version:

The Evangenitals are playing a RARE all-ages show for
FREE on Wednesday, December 29th at 9pm. Please come.

Location:

The Equator Coffee Shop
22 Mills Place
Pasadena, CA 91105
(626) 564-8656

Hope to see you there.

Sweet Sweet Holiday Love Sauce,
Juli Crockett, Lisa Dee, Brett Lyda, Jeff Jones
www.evangenitals.com

Yeah.. so...

We're spreading ourselves thin this month. We know.

It's a sort of experiment in exhaustion, karma, and giving back. "Just say Yes" is the Genital's theme for December. Does this result in lower "draws" to shows... hell yeah. Who cares? We're going to be the most seasoned and practiced One Year Old band come the New Year that Highland Park has ever SEEN! (huzzah for small victories)

We're playing all sorts of sweet gigs this holiday season: our local coffee shop, solo & duet sets from various members, a big, free all ages show in the heart of Old Town Pasadena, a Christmas Eve Party, complete with Classic Christmas Covers. It's a good life, and the perfect way for us to end the year. Hootin' up a Storm! Howling at the Elements! Raising hell and making sweet, sweet love with our windpipes and strings. We're diggin' it.

We're still working hard on the "official" album release. We're just too excited to hold back, so we've got an advance release circulating... however, we got more songs on the grill, that just ain't quite been mixed and seasoned yet. Soon. Very soon. Expect to see a fine and fancy Evan-barcode, Evan-label, and actual credits for all the folks that made it possible (like Jeff Donovan.... who's playing jazz, this weekend. click for details)

So yeah... we're spreading ourselves thin. Fuck it. We're young. We're coming up on our 1 year anniversary. We're feeling frisky and blessed and running wild. Till the wheels fall off, ya'll. You know the drill.

xoxo
julio

there's so much going on it gets hard to report on it all.

we've got some field trips coming up...

we're spreading our wings and taking off to some new territory.

this wednesday, goin' on out to the west side to play Tempest - Hollywood with Walkie Talkie and friends.

next wednesday, goin' on down to the LBC to show our stuff at the tenbyten art show at Koos.

for details, addresses, info, etc... check the calendar page.

we love you.

us.

Feeling Down? Feeling Blue?
Hopeless? Helpless? Depressed?
Feeling Feisty? Feeling Free?
Feel like Coming and Screaming with Glee?

We're having a Love-In & We Need Your help!

This Thursday
November 11th 2004
at 10pm Sharp
Be a Part of

The Evangenitals' Special
Love, Healing, and Primal Screaming Workshop
at
The Derby
4500 Los Feliz Blvd
at the corner of Hillhurst & Los Feliz Blvd

Come join us in a demonstration of music, grace, and good humor as we attempt to transform the world-famous Derby into the spiritualized sing-along center of Los Angeles for one glorious hour.

Super-Special Offerings of the Evening Include:

*Words of Hope & Healing from Her Most Holy Miss Mindy Chiu
*Primal Scream Therapy Group Exercises
(with bless'd, healing T-shirts to be given as gifts to the most zealous)
*home-made Evan-Unicron iron-on t-shirts
*BYOMC - bring your own magic carpet*
(*see Juli's personal appeal below)

and at last.... at last...

*the limited-edition first-press new-born Evangenitals Album!

*and now, a message from Rev. Dr. Juli Crockett,
singer and 1/2 size guitar player for The Evangenitals:

My Friends,
I have a vision. I have a dream. I have a suggestion.
It would please me beyond all comprehension and understanding if you would start bringing your own blankets, towels, mats, rugs, lawn chairs, meditation cushions, yoga balls, and any other lo-rider comfort seating device (aka magic carpet) to the next Evangenitals show. It's more than a show. It's a moment. A happening. A meeting of like-hearted homeboys & girls in search of the good vibe. Bring it with you. Find it here. Come on down to the front. Camp out, join in, sing along. Bask in the glow of the campfire-esque stage lights. Get closer to the Genitals.
We love you.

Live It. Be It.
Come n' Get It.

juli crockett, lisa dee, brett lyda, jeff jones
the evangenitals


more info: www.evangenitals.com/calendar.html
or call: 323-251-9645

Well... it was nice at the top for a minute.

Gasoline has slipped from #1 to #3 over at Audio Street (and I still can't figure out how their rankings are determined) which puts us at, surprisingly enough, my favorite place... #3 World Wide!

Never Again is up to 4 stars at GarageBand.com, which is pretty good, considering that we're currently filed under "Alternative", which is kinda true, but I think some of the folks who choose to review "Alternative" songs and then get "Evangenitals" are gettin' a little shook up by the experience.

Facing reviews is a strange new experience for us. Edifying, informative and painful... like a hairshirt on a sweaty, scourged martyr.
Thank you sir, may I have another.

On November 5th, we'll be moving to a newly created category on GarageBand called "Americana" which I think will suit us like a new pair of pants. A little snug, little scratchy, but exciting and snappy none the less.

In other news....

Tonight is the Halloween Party we're "hosting" over at the Derby. What does "hosting" mean? It means that Julio's workin' the door, Brett's dressing up and giving out weird prizes (compliments of our communal workplace) and we're gonna try to convince Jeff Jones to MC, or something like that.

Lisa Dee's other two bands, Las Panchas and Killsonic, are playing, along with the indubitable Robbie D and Timbaloo. It should be a nice, wild, make-up and mayhem kinda night.

Dress up and you might win an electric penis leash.
I ain't even kidding.

9pm. $5

at The Derby
4500 Los Feliz Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Here's the dill...

The Evangenitals are doing great and going strong, and we're trying to keep this ball rolling. We're thinking that lightning speed would be a suitable pace. Think meteors. Comets. Faster than a speeding bullet.

What's the big deal, you ask? Well, we've got some super-duper studio recorded versions of classic songs up on the web for your listening pleasure. They ain't technically "done" yet, however I've uploaded them in a couple of spots for some advance playing and reviewing.

Here's where YOU come in.... we're asking ya'll to follow these links. Listen to the songs. Enjoy 'em. Play them loud and proud. Rate 'em if you can. Send the links to your friends and ask them to give 'em a listen. Dance a bit. Laugh. Cry. Bathe in the soft haze of nostalgia and melancholy. Support your Genitals. Every little bit helps. It takes a village to raise a phenomenon.

The filthy hillbilly mucky love classic Gasoline can be found at
AudioStreet.net:
http://www.audiostreet.net/artists/006/962/evangenitals.html

(We're actually still #1 on AudioStreet's Alternative Country Charts right now, and you listening to our song over and over again will help to keep us there!)

The doo-wop 50's ode to dysfunctional relationships Never Again is over at GarageBand.com:
http://www.garageband.com/artist/evangenitals

Thank you for your love and support.

- juli crockett, lisa dee, brett lyda, & jeff jones
the evangenitals

HOLY S#!T... WE'RE NUMBER ONE!

Thanks folks for clicking the clicky.

We're currently number one at AudioStreet.net!

http://www.audiostreet.net/charts.aspx?genreid=3

Keep up the good work! Fight the Good Fight! Spread the Genital Love!

The Evangenitals. Topping the Charts Overnight!

We're on the Charts!?!?!?

I don't really know how it happened... but we are! On some little download site called AudioStreet.net --- check it out:

http://www.audiostreet.net/charts.aspx?genreid=3

I don't know who's determining the rankings... but if you have a chance, go there and download the song. Give it a listen. Trust me, you wanna hear it. It's the special studio recorded version of Gasoline. Jeff Donovan on drums. Pure hillbilly goodness and filth. Mad hootin' and hollerin'. A good time to be had by all.

Hear. Feel. Help.
- julio